I get the best quotes in the car....

While driving home one of my students, he commented,
"Agh, I just wish my mom would give me the master bedroom."

I asked him, "Well, where would she sleep then?"

He said, "Um probably in the attic..."

I replied, "Oh, your poor Mom! Wouldn't she be scared?"

He said, "Nah, we'd give her a light.... She'd be fine..."

So just when you think the world is against you, remember, so are your kids.

"In my day..."

As I was driving one of my six year old students to a social group, we turned the corner to our destination and he commented:

"Hey! I used to come here all the time when I was a kid! Now look at it. What a dump..."

Well in that case, I'm constantly "underrated"

Me: "How was school today?"

Student: "Alright. We are practicing for our school play."

Me: "Oh yeah, how's that going?"

Student: "Um, Ok...my class is singing a song that is really "underrated"

Me: "Underrated? Why do you say that?"

Student: "Well, I'm trying to find a nicer way of saying "lame"..."

The times, they are a changing...

 It's interesting to hear what kids are talking about and thinking about these days. It is especially interesting to hear a child with Autism's take on certain issues...in this case, infidelity and gay and lesbian issues.

I was helping a student with a worksheet geared towards recognizing facial expressions and emotions. There was a picture of a woman who looked like she was angry and yelling. I asked my student: "How do you think this woman is feeling?"

He replied with an excited smirk on his face, "She looks scared and angry! I think she is angry because she caught her husband dating another lady, and I think she is scared that he is going to leave and marry the other lady now!"

On the same worksheet, there was another picture of two young ladies smiling and laughing together. He told me, "They look really happy! I think it is because they are in a LESBIAN relationship!"...He was pretty excited about that one.

    Well, at least he understands and accepts homosexuality. There has been a couple of times were the issue of homosexuality and same sex relationships has baffled some of the children I have worked with. I don't know how I get myself in these situations, but I do.

    I was working with a student who had just come back from his friend's birthday party. This friend has two moms, but apparently my student didn't quite clue into that. I asked him who all went to the party, after he listed off some names he said, "...and his mom was there, and.....I think his older sister????"
I just left it at that.

Here is another situation I got myself into:

    There is a same sex couple that I work with who also work with some of the students I work with, but apparently, the students were not aware of their relationship, and stupid me, "outed" them. Here is conversation we had: (Note: Names have been changed, for obvious reasons....)

Driving in the car:

Me: "Oh look, Tammy just drove by."

Student #1: "Who is Tammy?"

Me, "You know, Tammy....Sandra's wife...."

Student #1: "Wait. What?...Sandra has a wife?...I don't get it..."

Me (Thinking, "Oh man, not another awkward conversation"): "Well you know how some some women marry men, and men marry men, and women marry women..."

Student #1: "Um, I think so?"

Me: "Well Sandra and Tammy are married"

Student #1: "That's very unusual"

Me: "Actually, it's not. It's perfectly normal,"

Student #2 pipes up from the backseat: "But only women can have babies, so if a man marries a man, they can't have children."

Me: "Not physically, but they can adopt..."

Student #1: "Yes, but I bet the "adoptee" would be REALLY confused..."

At that point, I started making small talk...

Note to parents:

PLEASE educate your children on these issues, so your service provider does not get caught off guard, babbles like an idiot, and confuses your children further.

GREAT idea :)

This isn't a quote from one of the kids I work with, but I thought it was fitting. Enjoy ;)

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So, the last little while, I have been looking for a job with a little more financial stability...to no avail. However, in 45 mins I have a job interview with an agency that finds jobs for people with disabilities in their community. I was telling a family friend about this and how I wasn't going to sweat the interview and that everything happens for a reason...yada yada...

He said to me, "Yes, and also if you DON'T get the job, you could always go back in next week, tell them that you have a disability, and they would have to find YOU a job!"

Offencive, but brilliant!

Unexpected Visitor

      A couple of months ago, I went to one of my clients house to work with him after school. He started off the session by having a snack. We were chatting in the kitchen and he went to get his left over cookie from Subway he got the day before. He pulled it out of the bag and yelled:

"WHAT! Somebody took a bite out of it!"

I said, "Oh, do you think it was your sister?"

He said, "It was probably my Uncle. He always breaks into our house when we are not home and eats our food........I think we need to get an alarm"

Ummm... I'll pass.

    This summer I was working at a day camp for children on the Autism Spectrum. My co-worker and I were driving some of the students to the Bowling Alley. A couple of the boys in the back started reading some of store signs as we drove by.

One boy said, "Look, its the mattress store!"
and another boy said, "Look its the coffee store!"

I guess the other boy (who cannot read) was feeling left out, so he decided to make up a store...

he said, "Look, its the PUBE store!"

Nobody said anything, thank god.

I am not sure what he was getting at, but that is one store I will NOT be shopping at.